dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
