her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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