Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
