It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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