You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my sisters under your porch take her home
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
