the day after is always just damage control
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
