all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
