I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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