What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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