they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
