i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
