pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
