What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
