I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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