My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
where are my eyebrows?
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