i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
