Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
