I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
