my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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