If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
