So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
