After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
