I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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