I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
