He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do vagina's smell?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
