you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
