drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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