last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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