I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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