Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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