How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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