i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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