which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
