we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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