She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
