Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
