In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
