I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
