I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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