u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
its not stalking. its research.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize