Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
