you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
