only if we run a train.
done.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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