also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
