Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
