he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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