Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
