Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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