Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we made out on top of his cat.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
