on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
