All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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