if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
do nipples grow back?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
