we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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