I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
