it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
