In America we eat man semen.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
