you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize