so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
